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Mmm... please don't screw with the page formatting. It's okay for my 8 year old nephews kids books to have the story characters kicking the page numbers and paragraphs around, but this is a monster that as a DM, I need to be able to find, read and understand quickly and correctly.

First let me say thank you for taking the time to review the preview and post your comments. what follows is an explination of the design choice, as all your points are valid but they were design choices.

I knew this would be controversial and it is the only monster we did this too, all of the text is readable, as the paragraphs all follow the same angles, I have found that some folks are jarred by it the first time and may think something is wrong with there pdf reader. I playtested it, with a couple folks and once you have read through it and "know" how it is laid out it has few if any readablity problems.

Some people love it some people hate it, but I will never not do something because I am afraid too. I was a bit afraid to make this our preveiw, but that's what made this the preview, I backed my layout artist on this because it was appropirate to the monster.

Next is, too much fluff text... well, not too much but too much of the same. You got a journal entry, which has become standard with Malhavoc/AE creature books and is well and good. But then the real meat n' potato description text is a first person story.

The descriptive text has has acctually been the greatest point of praise we have recieved. I also would point out that the description text still provides all of the data that I would provide if I had told it in manner of a text book (apperance, attitude, aspirations and accouting of deeds it tLotDT), the only difference is that I did from the Monsters PoV we like to call it "useful flavor" TM , in your case I would call it useful fluff.


I had suggestions to write even the mechancis in this point of view but i do believe that has to be clear and percise and easy for a gm to read quickly.

again some people like choclate some like peanut butter, we made Reeces.

the more rules-y sounding description that most creature books have

Exactly why I did not do it, my favoirte monster books are Monsternomicon , Planescape, and Abominations of Cerrillia. The problem I had was the flavor was it was not useful in game unless you were playing in that setting, I wanted this to have good solid flavor and lack the dry text book "more rule-y" description.

This is not disregard you points as they are valid but these were design desiscions,

I will really consider in future supplements a one sentence summary in the text.

Fascinated under Facial Fascination should be in italics to show that it's a spell-like effect

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/conditionSummary.htm#fascinated

its a condition not a spell like affect, so no italics, it comes out of the DMG which as I understand it AE still uses.

I still don't have the problem with pixilation, and that was at 6400%, (as a wise man said windows 98 and adobe 6.0 alas). I am working with the layout artists to correct this for you bill.

its not an action, any more that it is an action to for me to look and determine that Dave is ugly (bloody editors, heheheh).

it should read "mage"

thanks for the catch.